Whenever somebody says “My mistakes made me who I am today,” I’m like yeah, but you suck.
Today’s Joke of The Day Courtesy Of Caleb Synan
BIO: Caleb Synan’s breakout performance on CONAN was praised as “One of the Top 5 Late Night Debut’s of 2015” by TheLaughButton.com. He continues to stay fake humble about his talents, even though his act’s deceptively smart blend of Southern charm and razor sharp wit has earned him appearances on Last Comic Standing, Montreal’s Just for Laughs Festival, and the title of “Wittiest” in Franklin County High School’s 2009 Yearbook.
“It’s different when it’s your own” is just a nice way of saying that you hate everyone’s kids.
Today’s Joke of The Day Courtesy Of Delanie Fischer
BIO: From majoring in Religious Studies in college to pursuing a comedy career, Delanie Fischer has been disappointing her parents since 2008. Her mother is convinced that she will never give her grandchildren, and is currently seeking them elsewhere. Delanie has been described as “dry, intelligent, and just the right amount of dirty” by her 87 year-old Irish grandfather. Delanie can be found online in the webseries, “Two Inches Apart” and at 9 Drink Minimum or at www.delaniefischer.com
“Nothing makes me feel like a strong woman of color more than getting my upper lip threaded.”
Today’s Joke of The Day Courtesy of Christine Medrano
BIO: Christine Medrano has performed at Canda’s Next Top Comic, Laugh Factory’s Laugh Bowl, Ventura Comedy Festival, has appeared on the Eric Andre and appeared in videos for SuperDeluxe, Buzzfeed, Cracked and Funny or Die. You can find all things Christine Medrano Here
“When was America great?
During WWII when my grandmother worked in a factory?
Fine. Fire all the men. Hire all the women.”
Today’s Joke of The Day Courtesy Of Brandie Posey
BIO: Originally from Annapolis, Maryland, Brandie Posey is a stand up comedian, writer & producer who now calls LA’s comedy scene home. She has been featured as a performer at the New York Comedy Festival, RIOT Comedy Festival, San Francisco Sketchfest, FEST in Gainesville, Bridgetown Comedy Festival, The All Jane Festival, among many others. She has opened for the legendary punk band Against Me! and has appeared on MTV, E! & Comedy Central. Brandie made her feature film debut in the indie dark comedy, “The Worst Year Of My Life” directed by Jonathan Smith & her first stand up record Opinion Cave debuted at #1 on iTunes & #12 on Billboard.com.
She is honored to rep the LA comedy scene on the compilation album “Holy Fuck. Album Comedy.” and tours the country, headlining every dark corner with a microphone. She is the co-creator & host of Picture This, a popular comedy-animation show with franchises in LA, Portland, New York & San Francisco. At the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater & The Hollywood Improv, Brandie co-hosts Lady to Lady alongside Barbara Gray & Tess Barker. Lady to Lady is also a celebrated weekly podcast on the Maximum Fun Podcast Network with over 2 million downloads & loyal fans around the world.
“Idk why y’all are freaking out, hunger games was a great book AND movie. Living it’s gonna be dope.”
Today’s Joke of The Day Courtesy Of Alison Klemp
BIO: Alison lives in Brooklyn and does a lot of self-described vaginic-based comedy. She runs The Naked Show, hopes to release a dick pic calendar soon, and would love to meet your parents.
When Trump was questioned about his possible rape charges of a 13-year-old girl, he claimed it was preposterous and he was going to go have a Subway sandwich, a pudding pop and go watch The Pianist by Roman Polanski…
“I like to think that God watches us like we watch reality tv.”
Today’s Joke of The Day Courtesy Of Brent Mukai
BIO: Brent Mukai is a comedian, writer and actor from Hawaii now residing in Las Vegas. When he’s not busy hosting his podcast: I Killed the Cat, or doing comedy on the Las Vegas Strip he is usually out on the road performing shows, and dressing up like a super hero to fight crime.
“When I was born my Grandma was 33, still breastfeeding my Aunt, so when my Grandma was babysitting me..My Grandma was breastfeeding me. It was Grandma’s B&B..Where Grandma can babysit AND breastfeed you !”
Today’s Joke of The Day Courtesy Of Lesa Noelle
BIO: Lesa Noelle is a Los Angeles Actor, Comedian, Writer, Painter, Pot Smoker and Vegetarian. She also fights for Animal Rights…Oh, oh and Peoples Rights too because, you know, like…People Rock ! 😀
“I’m from Astoria. Rough neighborhood. I’m really not afraid of anything. Only one thing I’m afraid of. Heights Washington Heights. Crown Heights. I don’t go near em!“
Today’s Joke of The Day Courtesy Of Ray Gootz
BIO: Ray Gootz is one of the hottest up and coming comics based out of NYC. Performing everywhere from New York to Maryland. He is a feature performer at all the major clubs in NYC. Ray has opened for Steve-O, John Witherspoon and Nate Bargatze among others. In addition Ray was a writer for salon.com. His comedy has been featured on sirus-xm radio and he has been a guest on radio shows throughout North America. Ray is also the executive producer of the web series Game Over Girls which has a million viewers a month. In the summer of 2016 Ray started the “Press Start Video Game Comedy Show”. Combining stand-up with playing video games the show has been a huge hit. On-stage Ray combines Geek humor with a in your face attitude. He has a unique style that is wining him fans everywhere he goes!
“Yesterday I drove my car into my garage. Which is a pretty convenient place to crash a car.“
Today’s Joke of The Day Courtesy Of Matt Geiler
BIO: Matt Geiler is an artist, musician, and comedian who lives in LA. He’s toured with Wayne Brady and opened for Flight Of The Conchords, and when he’s not busy improvising ridiculous songs, he writes and records original music for his lo-fi underground pop project Frederick Julius. Matt also writes and illustrates picture books for children. And, yes, he’s also the guy in the KXVO Pumpkin Dance video.
“I can’t stand religious sayings. My least favorite is, “Let go and let God.” It’s like, Yeah, sure but you still need to learn how to parallel park!”
Today’s Joke of The Day Courtesy Of Liz Miele
BIO: Liz Miele has appeared on Comedy Central, FOX, AXS TV, and Hulu. She’s been featured in The New Yorker, NY Times, Runner’s World, Psychology Today and The Guardian. Her joke “Feminist Sex positions” went viral both on YouTube and Upworthy.com. She regularly tours with “The Nobodies of Comedy,” Armed Forces Entertainment and just got back from her fourth European tour. Liz also recently released her debut album “Emotionally Exhausting,” which you can find on itunes, amazon and cdbaby.com. For more info visit her web site: www.lizmiele.com